Getting Old

Sorry to those of whom I mocked of being old....this is my apology to you.

Woke up about 20 minutes before noon this morning - that was never ever the case one year ago.
After turning 20, something inside my body has somehow changed. It is constantly dragging me backwards, downwards. It is as if my bones are decaying and my body is falling into hibernation...all the time!!

I sleep at least 9 hours a day, if not 15.
I have swollen goldfish eyes, if not panda eyes.
I hate exercising, and of course gained 5lbs of fat in the past week.
I fall asleep doing homework, which actually constitutes of watching movies.
I skipped probably $20,000 worth of classes this semester.

Hope y'all would understand that those are not good attributes to follow or to have.
So, lend me a prayer, for I want to re-obtain my youth and my energy without consuming espresso or Monster.

Looking back, I have lost my way so many times.

Perhaps in the past 4 month, I have fell away more than I have grown up.

I have thought of giving up and I have thought of letting go.

Yet, strangely, I have been held so tightly, so blessed, even in the deepest abyss.

Maybe it is your relentless calling, or maybe it is my desperate struggle, but it is time.

It is time to grasp your love again, to embrace your love again, and to dwell inside your love again. 

Because your love is deep and your love is wide.