LOVE

Saw 1040 and met Jaeson Ma tonight.

I was in doubt, even in the midst of all the crazy healing and prophecy that filled the room.

I couldn't stop trembling from a sense of lost and a sense of imprisonment, like the bird in my cage necklace.

I had no where to run...but to Him.

Jaeson prayed for me, and as he told me to lay open my hand and receive the holy spirit, I never thought I could be in so much awe, so much wonder, and so much joy.

I weeped, broken, and fell down for the first time before God, purified, freed, and LOVED.

It never hit me so hard that He loves me...He told me he loves me...God loves me.

AMEN!

Seasons Change

seasons change

And then they pass

No way to know how long they'll last

I'd love to know the reason why

But God knows

I love to know the reasons why things change, time change, seasons change...
I love to know the reasons why changes always bring uncertainty, lost, fear...

But I know that only God knows...

Entertainment Industry & God.

O'show:

Thomas Cho - Music industry producer who was led astray by his own hard work, ambition, and empty success.

...he received the healing and the grace of God in the most desperate of times.

1040:

Jaeson Ma - One of today's music industry's most influential character, is also blessed with so much charisma, grace, and the word of God.

...he who was once lost in the underground (literally), came up and saw the Morning Star.

Home

She's alive and well...10 years, I waited, and thank you Lord for bringing me that good news.

Yet, home feels so far away.

As much as I miss the coziness of my bed and the cleansing breeze of the summer morning through my open window, that is all that I can remember.

I miss my mom, my dad, my little brother, but all of whom expect so much.

I miss my home in China too, but I cannot help but hide from it.
China was too crowded, too clustered, too much smoke and grease.

Grandma was too sucked up in the agony of Grandpa's death.

Aunt...she broke her arm.

I spent the morning, whole 2 hours, trying to communicate to them that life is not just about college, life is not just about grades, and life is not just about other people's expectations (including Dad's, including Grandma's, and including my already passed-away Grandpa's)...

They didn't understand, although they claim they did.

Aunt ended by saying, "take care of yourself...but whatever we say now about your academics, you can just regarded as crap, is that what you want?"

Fail.

They no longer feel like family, they no longer feel like home...

Why does it have to be this way?....

Besides Heaven, is there really not a place where I can call "home"?

Hosanna

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from nothing to

Eternity

What does it mean to love like how He loved us?

What does it mean to break from what break His?

Are we capable? If we are...how long? how much?

Forgiveness

What is the source that keeps us moving?

some say it's the momentary push of motivation.

some say it's the people we love the most.

some say it's life itself.

I believe it's the source of all of these things; a higher being, a divine source, however you want to call it - I call Him God.

What is the source of anger?

some say it's the legitimate response to injustice and frustration.

some say it's the unethical action in every circumstances.

some say it's momentary misunderstanding.

I believe it's the combination of all of these things: an almost uncontrollable and entirely understandable feeling, but nonetheless an act of sin.

What then is the resolution we call forgiveness?

some say it's the momentary rush of sympathy.

some say it's the words long overdue or forever hidden.

some say it's...never truly achievable among us.

I believe it's a mix of all of these things: a feeling of relief and reconciliation that we can never achieve through time itself or through ourselves, for it only comes from the source, God himself.