Saturday, January 23, 2010

Never Alone

12/22/2009:
I left grandpa's grave, breathing in the ashes of his leftover clothe and cane.

1/6/2010:
I left auntie in a tiny white bed in the corner of a hospital room in Shanghai, without a word of farewell.

1/12/2010:
I left grandma, looking at her weakened back through the side window of a taxi.

1/12/2010:
I left Shanghai, left China, relieved of the fear of ever experiencing godlessness.

1/22/2010:
I left Peter at 4:30am, crying, letting go of his irreplaceable presence.

4/30/1990 ~ :
The Lord never left, knocking, knocking, knocking and knocking...
So I will learn to open the door and leave you all my fears, all my loves, and all that I cannot bear.

Love you, Father.